Let's just say that the human mind is complex and fires off all kinds of messages that have been stored in relation to the sexual act. It is here that you can do some real work on yourself.
I will assume that you have at some point in your life enjoyed a healthy sexual relationship. It may have been back in your youth or early 20's. When it was doesn't really matter. What matters is that you have a memory of it. Accepting that memory isn't a perfect recall system (we all distort our experiences even within a short time period to suit our needs)
The first part of this journey is to build a rough picture of when you were super potent. Once you have this time in mind: start to cloth it in more detail. When I say detail I mean everything that you think you experienced. The sounds you heard, the things you saw, the smells and sensations within and around you.
Once you've created a multi dimensional film reel of this time, (it can last as long or as short as you like) make time each day to relax and close your eyes and relive the experience in your imagination. Pay attention to the details. First furnish the place where it happened with all that you can recall and add anything else you need, to make it more sensual. Now imagine that you are watching yourself on a large cinema screen. See all the colors and details as vibrant as possible. See yourself and your partner (at that time) in the throes of passion. See yourself as you looked then. Imagine every minute detail.
Imagine yourself sat at the cinema watching and hearing this memory in HD surround sound. Imagine how it felt, feel the sap race through your loins. Enjoy the visualization fully. Once you are happy that the image is fully potent, it's time to imagine yourself walking up to and into the film and blending into your former self. Merge with yourself and see through your eyes what you saw while deep in the throes of passion. See and feel and sense and smell all that you experienced. Imagine that you close your eyes for a moment, then open them again to see your partner replaced by your present partner, enjoying the potency of the moment fully.
This part is crucial in anchoring your new experience. As you fully experience the heights of sensual bliss and joy and passion, create a small physical cue, (touching your left thumb and forefinger together will suffice). It's important that you do this every time you practice the visualization. This small cue acts much like a 'short cut icon' does on your desktop. Linking your memory to the experience at lightning fast speed. In the future you simply need to 'fire off' this physical cue prior to sexual activity, and everything will be aligned.
Keep the final stage of the film strong for a few moments longer, than slowly come back into the present. Disconnect from the visualization exercise by opening your eyes and taking in the details of your room, by naming one object at a time. Another good way to disconnect is to say your telephone number backwards to yourself.
Try to practice this exercise daily for at least a month. If possible sit in the same chair or lay on your bed. The more times you repeat it the better. You may feel aroused while practicing it. This is normal and a good sign that you have entered fully into the experience. If you don't get aroused, don't worry we all experience life through a different lens. That's what makes us unique.
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